Sunday Morning Coming Down
Mornings like these, I stroll out in the garden, baptising my spirit into Mother Nature. It is as if I’m hoping to blur my body into All Things, trying to accept this is All merely One Thing and nothing more.
It is easy to feel lost out here. At times it is a good thing. At times it is not. This is where the desert gave birth to the prairie. This is where vast plains roll on into forever and foreign automobiles scurry across the last bulge of the horizon to the next urban destination, fearing this type of isolation. Tumbleweeds hang in barbedwire fences, hoping to break free. Pumpjacks moan their desert cry. Coyotes howl for yesterday’s meal. Rattlesnakes curse the force of speeding tires. Buzzards circle overhead, anticipating a mid-day snack. Favonian forces scream through skeletal shacks that were once proud homes on this forgotten prairie. Still, we are here. Still, we persist.
That is the beauty of my ambivalent relationship with West Texas. It is home. It is my heart. It is my family. It is my freedom. It is my roots. It is my choice. Yet, at times, it is my despair. It is my grief. It is my prison.
The connection between any living creature and the elements is an innate treasure. That same bond between Farmer and Nature is obligation. We, as farmers, must be careful to not let drought, high winds, and scorching heat weaken our spirit or detour our tired feet from the intended paths. We are the last true Guardians of the Earth – redneck angels, if you will, clothed in denim, sweat, dust, and blood. We must take our occupation serious but with good humor. We must treat it as our religion and the crops we raise as our congregation.
I am not a Christian, my fellow liberators. But I am a Naturalist. I am a Farmer. I am a spirit breathing free. I am fear and courage. I am love and hate. I am a son. I am a Brother. I am a Father. I am a creator and destroyer. I am a lover and a fighter. I am a redneck and a hippie. I am a cowboy and an indian. I am one connected to all of you and the rest of what we see, hear, smell, and feel. This is what I try not to forget even when the winds try to scatter my thoughts amongst the sand or the drought suck dry the love in my heart or the heat weaken my will and strength.
So, let us not worry. Let us not fear. Look toward the horizon. Close your eyes. It looks like the rain we’ve been waiting for all this time.